It starts a month or so before Christmas, when I get the decorations out. I take out Gianna’s stocking and hang it up with tears in my eyes. Her memorial ornaments are placed on the tree and I am reminded of a little girl who should be here and is not. A little girl who should be making her list for Santa and ripping wrapping paper to shreds Christmas morning. Her absence is loud this time of year. I am almost deafened by it. I think one of the most difficult aspects of child loss is the isolation it causes. Very few people know the pain and devastation we experience, which is heightened during the holidays and therefore so is our isolation. Simply put, we feel alone. And sad.
This year that was not the case. We were truly visited by angels Christmas morning. It was a normal Christmas morning, so we thought. We just finished breakfast and Lucas, our one and half year old son, wanted to look outside the window to see the trucks. As I lift him up, I see some Christmas decorations on our outside tree that I did not put up and I see a large package with an angel statue on our front porch. [Read more…]