I’ve always seen life as an adventure and discovering that I had a little, precious life growing within me made the journey even more thrilling. What an honor to be carrying another person, another soul within me. Dave and I had gotten married in early November of 2013 and our first pregnancy was officially confirmed on Christmas Day of that same year. The holiday season was made even more joyous and special with the news of our first child. Every wave of morning sickness and tiny sufferings of my changing body was nothing compared to the gift of life that I was given. Dave and I were so happy to see our family growing ever so quickly.
Then it happened:
The sonogram with no heartbeat.
The drive home and the tears, stunned and shaken.
The D & C.
The empty womb and broken heart.
Our second miscarriage occurred just last week (end of October 2018) and ended in yet another D&C. Before I had my own miscarriage, I never knew a single person who had one. My own mother never had a complication giving birth to seven children, so losing a child was never even on my radar. Miscarriage was a reality that I had heard of but happened to “other” people. How shocking it is when one goes from being “untouchable” to being punched in the gut with the most heart-shattering news. When the doctor told me that our baby had no heartbeat, I didn’t even know how to react. What?!? You mean some babies die? You mean MY baby died? Dave and I had just been confronted face to face with a nightmare that only happened to “other” people and we were in complete and utter shock. [Read more…]