Dear sweet mama,
It is that time of year again: a month dedicated to you, a bereaved mama, and remembering your precious child that left this world far too soon. Maybe you’re in shock your child is gone because the loss is recent and the pain is raw. Maybe it’s been years since you said good-bye but you still want to make space to honor and remember them, because they will always be your child no matter how much time has passed. Our stories are all very different but our pain is the same. We are mothers who will forever grieve the loss of our children. Know that my heart deeply hurts for you and I wish I could take away your pain.
I am sorry I am writing you. I am sorry you are now part of this “club” you never even knew existed. I am sorry you don’t have your little one to hold and you are forced to journey through life with this emptiness – an emptiness so few understand or talk about.
As I reflect upon my own losses, I am left with so may unanswered questions. Why? Why me? Why us? Why do babies and children die? Why is there so much suffering in our world? How can I live the rest of my life without my precious treasure? Will I ever be okay again?
These questions constantly brew in my mind and heart. I don’t know if I will ever find the answers. And maybe I’m not meant to. But, I do find one immense consolation and comfort in my painful journey: It is the fact that I am not alone in this journey. I am not alone in my search for answers. And I am not alone in my seemingly infinite longing for my little ones.
You, mama, are a great consolation. You, mama, give me hope. You, mama, give me strength on days I don’t think I can make it through. Knowing you are out there experiencing a struggle similar to mine, although we do not know each other, is a balm on my bleeding heart.
The fact that you are still standing, still surviving, still loving, still thriving, despite the constant, piercing pain your heart cannot help but feel, that is what motivates me. That is what pushes me to move on. That is what persuades my heart to keep living and loving in a world that irreparably wounded me. That is what helps me to accept, embrace, and share my own scars.
Your hope is inspiring.
Your strength is heroic.
The power of your love resounds into the heavens where our little ones await our embrace. And your pain is deep because your love is infinitely deeper.
May we never stop hoping, loving, and remembering our sweet children.
United in loss and in love,
Amy, mom of Gabriel and Gianna Rose