To call the past two years since Gianna’s passing rough is an understatement. They have been the darkest of my life. Frankly, the fact that I am alive today is a testament to my husband’s unconditional love, the consistent outreach of faithful friends, and the expertise and care of my therapists.
I hope to share more details of my mental health journey as time progresses. But since it is mental health awareness month, I wanted to share how I have benefitted from regular therapy as I struggle to grieve and process the loss of my daughter. I still go every week and don’t know where I would be today without it.
C.S. Lewis said, “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.” To deny the sadness and the pain one feels after loss is to deny the love one felt for the person in the first place. If we loved them, we are going to painfully feel their absence. Grief, therefore, is inevitable.
In grieving, we struggle to comprehend the loss of a loved one. It is natural to try to avoid grief because it is extremely uncomfortable, but it will not simply abate. Nobody can grieve for another. Ignoring your pain or keeping it from surfacing will only exacerbate the grieving process as time progresses. In order for real healing to take place, it is necessary to face grief and actively deal with it. It is sometimes called “grief work” because finding one’s way through grief is hard work. It’s often exhausting. If it is put off, it becomes like a messy chore and will linger, hanging over the person until it gets done. The longer it waits the harder it becomes. [Read more…]